Heirlooms

                                 Grandpa's Pickle Jar

     In life’s busy shuffle today, family heirlooms may be forgotten, neglected, or even lost. It is absolutely appropriate to take pictures of your family heirlooms and tell the story of their origins and what they mean to you, and include this information in your personal or family history.

     “Things,” though they don’t last forever, and can’t be taken with us when we die, are still part of our mortal experience. We need some “things,” (though surprisingly few) to survive. To make music, we need instruments—or a singing voice. To lift our spirits, free our creativity, or beautify our surroundings, we make or acquire lovely or curious things. Some of those things are passed on to us by our posterity, and become heirlooms. They may have some special story attached, or were given to our ancestor by a special person.

     I have an old English pickle jar in my china hutch. If I take a picture, write about it, and include it in my personal history, my children and posterity will be able to do more than wonder about it. They will know what it is and that it came from my grandfather in Hythe, Kent, England.  

     The other day, my son asked me about my old worn-out bear with the missing ear. I was surprised to find out that he didn’t know her name is Matilda, and she came from his grandmother. I’ve had that bear with me since I was nine years old. She hasn’t got much more life left in her, so I took pictures of her. Her story is that she’s been with me through thick and thin, and also saw my mother through her whole life. Potter’s Velveteen Rabbit has no more grand story.

               

Matilda, the One-Eared Bear

     There is an heirloom I’m particularly fond of that came from my grandmother, which belonged to my mother. It’s a leaf bowl with a figurine that stands in the center of a pair of herons or flamingos. It’s so characteristic of the fifties! When I look at it, it reminds me of my mother and her living room, and what it was like living in the fifties.

     My step-mother crocheted a beautiful blessing dress for my youngest sister. It hangs in a glass-framed shadowbox at the end of her bedroom hall. A peak down that hall gives the viewer a “Wow” experience. It hasn’t been passed anywhere yet, and it’s already a family heirloom.

     Heirlooms speak of family skills, acquisitions, and values.

                       Heirlooms translate to memories.

                               Mama's Fifties Bowl and Figurine

          What are your favorite family heirlooms? Tell us about them in the comment section.

W hat Kinds of Things Do Our Posterity Want to Know?

                                                             What Were They like?

     I  was talking to a mother and daughter, Renee and Alair, about what kinds of things they would like to know about their ancestors. They came up with a pretty good list and chances are our posterity will want to know the same kinds of things about us.

What Posterity Wants to Know

A chronological story of events

Were they musical? Did they sing or play instruments?

Are there funny stories about their lives?

What were their personalities like? Were they humorous? Quiet? Loud?  Social? Withdrawn?

What were their activities?

What talents and hobbies did they have?

Did they have siblings? What were their siblings and parents like?

What was their health like?

Did they have a patriarchal blessing or some special guiding creed?

What were their family secrets?

What were their favorite colors? Did they have other kinds of favorites?

What were their trials and triumphs?

What was the history of their time and place?

What were their homes and land like?

Were there any family recipes?

Did they move from place to place, or travel?

     I would add:

What was their education like?

What was their religion, or did they have a religion?

Who were their children, and what were they like as parents?

What was their occupation?

What is the origin of their roots?

     What are some of the things you’d like to know about your ancestors? Feel free to add to our list by leaving your comments.

                     Make Those Memories

                       Nothing I love better than an art project

            L iz, one military wife I knew years ago, got tired of being alone with her children all the time and fighting the mundane, day-to-day battle. She said she spent so much time changing diapers, holding crying babies, cleaning up food off the floor and highchair, and doing laundry, that she sometimes needed a creative change.

She periodically planned activities, saw them through no matter how hard, took pictures and wrote about them. All of this, she put into a book that her family could enjoy.

            One activity was simply an outing at the park where she ate sandwiches and cookies with her children. A large stray dog was on the loose that day, and while he tried to ruin their activity, she got some funny pictures. Another time she made cookies with her preschooler while the baby was asleep. Flour flew everywhere, dough dotted the floor, and clean-up was an additional project, but the preschooler had a wonderful time. Still another activity involved paper, glue, scissors, and glitter on Valentine’s Day.

            The journaling and pictures of these planned mini-memories became a lovely book to show Daddy. Not too many years later, the book became a life-line of love from the mother to her daughters when Liz died of cancer in her prime.

            Never underestimate the importance of making and recording memories—even small ones. They could be especially meaningful to the travelers left on down the road.

                          Pictures Do Speak

P ictures speak their thousand words in silence, but they do say a great deal, so never underestimate their importance.

This courageous little bride married a widower with six children. (The baby isn’t pictured.) When asked about it later, she laughed and said, “I didn’t know what I was getting into.” But the marriage lasted and she went on to have five children of her own, raising a total of eleven children.

While she worked with determination to raise the family on earth, she referred to the deceased mother as the family’s “guardian angel” who was watching over the family from above.

When this little five-foot, two-inch bride took over as the mother of this family, she instigated a rule that anyone who swore—including such words as dang, darn, heck, or sheesh—had to pay a quarter or buy her a candy bar. The family’s language cleaned up in a hurry.

Another rule she put into effect was that no one could say anything about anyone else unless it was two of these: kind, true, or necessary. The family’s thinking became more magnanimous.

Over the years, this little mother made heroic efforts to keep all of her family alive and healthy. In one instance, she even got better than the nurses at caring for a grandson born with heart defects. You could say many hearts beat for this lady.

There is no greater cheerleader than this woman for her family. She tenaciously defends and encourages all good things in every family member.

Knowing now, what you do about this woman, aren’t you glad to have a picture to view?

                     Writing Your Story

Many people are willing and able to write their own personal and family histories. For those so inclined, here are some guidelines for getting started.

                                                  Artwork from my mother's book

GUIDELINES FOR WRITING PERSONAL HISTORY

     Be honest. Don’t worry about your image as much as showing the lessons you’ve learned. Remember that there is no story if there isn’t conflict. There is no lesson learned going from point A to point B by people who start out, and end, perfect. Show that you are human and have changed and grown throughout your life.

     Your goal is to let people know what YOUR life is like, where you’ve walked, how you’ve faced your challenges, and what sense you make of your experiences.

Start With a Hook

            Instead of starting at your birth, begin your story with a hook; an interesting mini-story; something wonderful or something dreadful—a high or low—that will create interest and hold your audience.

Make an Outline

            Decide what is important and what is not. Make an outline to help you decide what things to include in your story and what clutter to leave out. (At a future date, I’ll write about some different approaches you might use in writing your story.)

Use Sensory Detail

            As you describe places, houses, people, and other things, make them come alive by telling how a thing looked, smelled, felt, sounded, or tasted.

Don’t Forget to Include Your Feelings

            You may have gone through a series of difficult or wonderful experiences, but of what use are they to you or me unless you tell how you felt about them? Share your insights.

Tell or Soft Pedal the Hard Truth?

            Robert Walsh, in his Deseret News article “Author Offers Tips on Making Personal History a Page-turner,” (2010) tells how Dawn Parrett Thurston, a writer of personal history, and a presenter at BYU Education Week, shared ten points to consider when the truth is difficult to tell.

1.      It’s importance to your story.

2.      Your purpose in revealing the information.

3.      Your audience.

4.      Your family.

5.      Your tone of writing. Be fair and tell both sides of the story, or show both sides of the person.

6.      Your tolerance for criticism, rejection, and the possibility of being disinherited. “Tell the truth in love.”

7.      Make sure your facts are correct.

8.      Avoid moralizing.

9.      Let your readers form their own conclusions. [Here’s where your opinion is better saved.]

10.  Don’t exaggerate.

There are other ways to handle the family skeletons. You can tell only the bare bones of an unhappy detail, or only mention it once, or leave it out altogether, or allude to it enough to make sense of what you are writing. Just so you know, posterity loves the family secrets; the skeletons; the shocking truth. You can use them as an inspiration to show how people make mistakes, repent, pick up the pieces of their lives, and move on.

Two other things: Be concise--don’t keep repeating yourself. And leave out as many adverbs and adjectives as possible. They are usually filler. Trim all the fat you can in your writing.

Good Luck and enjoy!

Be Sure to Include Fun Little Anecdotes in Your History

                       Overworked Hero
                       A fun little story told by Mary

                            

Mary, making use of that washtub and her brother

      When I was almost six years old, my mother used to take me to musical pictures and movies; then my brother and I used to act out the parts in the back yard. One night as it was getting dark, we were sitting on an upturned washtub singing, “Are the Stars out Tonight.” This song was from a picture in which Dick Powell and Ruby Keeler played. In the picture they absent-mindedly rode to the end of the car-line. As they were walking back home, he carried her and sang the song. So that night I had my brother carry me from the tub to the back steps while I sang the song. After staggering under my weight half a dozen times, he finally said, “Listen Mary, you gotta cut out this love business, I can’t take it!”

      However, it was worth all the hard work because the lady next door gave us each a nickel the next day.

 Marie Scott

     —A Personal Life Historian

Let your story reflect the tears, triumphs, and beauty of your life.

Leave posterity your legacy of light instead of silence.

Lend a hand to others beyond the grave—leave them your lessons of life.

Credentials

A Cutting Edge Bachelor’s Degree:   Brigham Young University, 2010

Emphasis:                                            Writing / Editing

Other Skills:                                Artist / Musician

Contact Information

Phone:  801-566-4346        Email:  emarielascott@gmail.com